What a question. "how do you process pain" - my husband left me for his ex wife. It blindsided me. I had no clue that anything like that was going on. We were, I thought, happy. I can't say I conciously processed it, the pain processed me. The only concious thing I did was allow myself to feel it- when alone. Shock, tears, rage, the rock in the chest feeling, obsessive thinking...and I am lucky to have good friends who helped me, supported me, listened to me, and cared about me. I agree that prayer/meditation become a refuge and sanctuary and an energetic way to work through to healing. I found strength within myself. I also agree that helping others is a way to heal. I work with elderly, and watching many endure the pain of physical ailments, assisting and supporting them through their pain, helps puts things in perspective. I am fascinated by the will to survive, and how people survive. We are pretty incredible beings.
What a question. "how do you process pain" - my husband left me for his ex wife. It blindsided me. I had no clue that anything like that was going on. We were, I thought, happy. I can't say I conciously processed it, the pain processed me. The only concious thing I did was allow myself to feel it- when alone. Shock, tears, rage, the rock in the chest feeling, obsessive thinking...and I am lucky to have good friends who helped me, supported me, listened to me, and cared about me. I agree that prayer/meditation become a refuge and sanctuary and an energetic way to work through to healing. I found strength within myself. I also agree that helping others is a way to heal. I work with elderly, and watching many endure the pain of physical ailments, assisting and supporting them through their pain, helps puts things in perspective. I am fascinated by the will to survive, and how people survive. We are pretty incredible beings.
When you get to be older the biggest pain (if the body is healthy) is loneliness. I experience much of that. During the holidays or days I'm not teaching, I do everything I can to keep my mind occupied. I never thought at this age I would be without companionship. But, you never know about life. The children are raised and I miss them dearly. I do visit them but, mothers have to be careful not to interfere in the lives of their children. My children are so happy and I keep getting Grandchildren. I have three now and the fourth one is on it's way. The problem is they are far away. During the Summer, which can be very lonely I go to a local spa and work out. When I come home I have a favorite web site I can go to and hear inspiration. I enjoy listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer and some of the others who speak on the site. If I'm feeling pain I look for a topic that might cheer me up or a way to deal with the lonely feelings I have. I also, blog a great deal. Writing does that for me, also. I blog with the groups to support the President on topics I care about. I have met many friends that way. During the healthcare debates I was able to go out and work fundraisers. That kept my mind off of lonely. Sometimes walking and praying help. I find I can do both of those at the same time. All of us have our own ways of dealing.
When you get to be older the biggest pain (if the body is healthy) is loneliness. I experience much of that. During the holidays or days I'm not teaching, I do everything I can to keep my mind occupied. I never thought at this age I would be without companionship. But, you never know about life. The children are raised and I miss them dearly. I do visit them but, mothers have to be careful not to interfere in the lives of their children. My children are so happy and I keep getting Grandchildren. I have three now and the fourth one is on it's way. The problem is they are far away. During the Summer, which can be very lonely I go to a local spa and work out. When I come home I have a favorite web site I can go to and hear inspiration. I enjoy listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer and some of the others who speak on the site. If I'm feeling pain I look for a topic that might cheer me up or a way to deal with the lonely feelings I have. I also, blog a great deal. Writing does that for me, also. I blog with the groups to support the President on topics I care about. I have met many friends that way. During the healthcare debates I was able to go out and work fundraisers. That kept my mind off of lonely. Sometimes walking and praying help. I find I can do both of those at the same time. All of us have our own ways of dealing.
I had a bacteria, not long ago, got open scared on 30cm fully open for 3 months... NOW I TELL YOU THIS IS BLOODY PAINFUL... Especially when the nurse comes twice per day to irrigate your raw steak, and currate a bit. But I kept my mind busy with other things, keeping myself up. My mind is stronger than anything cause I built it that way (but ok morphinic was helping too LMAO, while I was taking the least I could handle). Physical pain teaches your body is just an enveloppe, your sould should never get the pain, the loss of someone by death is just the Life getting thru next step. Each pain physical, emotional etc just makes us stronger afterwards, more aware, more cautious. When I am sick now or have physical pain, I can recall this is so little compared to what I lived for few months. I also realised I could have died from Septicemia, so gladly I kept my mind up and not drowning into negative speculations. And you know what... I am still alive, more than ever !-) x Nat x
I had a bacteria, not long ago, got open scared on 30cm fully open for 3 months... NOW I TELL YOU THIS IS BLOODY PAINFUL... Especially when the nurse comes twice per day to irrigate your raw steak, and currate a bit. But I kept my mind busy with other things, keeping myself up. My mind is stronger than anything cause I built it that way (but ok morphinic was helping too LMAO, while I was taking the least I could handle). Physical pain teaches your body is just an enveloppe, your sould should never get the pain, the loss of someone by death is just the Life getting thru next step. Each pain physical, emotional etc just makes us stronger afterwards, more aware, more cautious. When I am sick now or have physical pain, I can recall this is so little compared to what I lived for few months. I also realised I could have died from Septicemia, so gladly I kept my mind up and not drowning into negative speculations. And you know what... I am still alive, more than ever !-) x Nat x
How do I process pain??? As carefully and as thoughtfully as I can.... After I rail against the universe for causing me the pain. [LMAO] Seriously.......I just try to work my way through it, step by step....what caused it...how much was I to blame for it, if at all....can I do anything to rectify the cause with a "cause-ee..." Can I not? If I can....then try to communicate as honestly as possible....[sometimes that more difficult that it would be to turn dirt into gold....]. Admit where I went wrong [God, that hurts....]but I do it] if that's appropriate....and, if none of that works.... Move on.... Talk it out with God....talk it out with very close friends....move on. Have a good cry, if that's necessary...move on. At 65, I don't have a lot of timeleft to deal with pain. Gotta get over it one way or the other fairly quickly....if I can, to the satisfaction of both me and the cuase of pain--or the other way around.....if not...if I can't "FIX" the other person....cannot ease the other person's suffering, if that's the case,....just gotta move on.... If I've caused someone else pain....I will try my utmost to fix that. But I WON'T any longer rip my own heart out and leave it on the floor for the other person to stomp on just to make them feel better.. Almost no patience left for people who LOVE their pain and see it engendered at every turn...I will only do what can be done humanely for both of us.... Too damn old....too little time left....to deal with pain of any kind any other way.... I hope that makes some sense.... Pat
How do I process pain??? As carefully and as thoughtfully as I can.... After I rail against the universe for causing me the pain. [LMAO] Seriously.......I just try to work my way through it, step by step....what caused it...how much was I to blame for it, if at all....can I do anything to rectify the cause with a "cause-ee..." Can I not? If I can....then try to communicate as honestly as possible....[sometimes that more difficult that it would be to turn dirt into gold....]. Admit where I went wrong [God, that hurts....]but I do it] if that's appropriate....and, if none of that works.... Move on.... Talk it out with God....talk it out with very close friends....move on. Have a good cry, if that's necessary...move on. At 65, I don't have a lot of timeleft to deal with pain. Gotta get over it one way or the other fairly quickly....if I can, to the satisfaction of both me and the cuase of pain--or the other way around.....if not...if I can't "FIX" the other person....cannot ease the other person's suffering, if that's the case,....just gotta move on.... If I've caused someone else pain....I will try my utmost to fix that. But I WON'T any longer rip my own heart out and leave it on the floor for the other person to stomp on just to make them feel better.. Almost no patience left for people who LOVE their pain and see it engendered at every turn...I will only do what can be done humanely for both of us.... Too damn old....too little time left....to deal with pain of any kind any other way.... I hope that makes some sense.... Pat
My deepest pain? My husband's death. He was killed on the job 17 years ago. He was only 26 yrs. old. Consumed with grief I had to carry on because I had 4 children under the age of 6 at that time.
I processed my pain, and loss by writing. Sometimes just venting on paper was enough of an outlet to get it out of my system. I find writing very theraputic. I've found journals that I wrote years ago and as I was reading them I discovered the theraputic connection. I was really sad/angry about a man I dated for a short time and vented all of it on paper. I would have been offended if someone would have laughed at how I felt at that time. Having how I felt on paper gave me the opportunity to look back. I couldn't help but laugh at some of the things I said. Releasing my feelings on paper was just enough to keep me from dwelling on the situation, and eventually moving on.
The disadvantage of writing your thoughts is when it ends up in the wrong hands and then becomes a weapon of mass destruction! lol
HI Michael,
My deepest pain? My husband's death. He was killed on the job 17 years ago. He was only 26 yrs. old. Consumed with grief I had to carry on because I had 4 children under the age of 6 at that time.
I processed my pain, and loss by writing. Sometimes just venting on paper was enough of an outlet to get it out of my system. I find writing very theraputic. I've found journals that I wrote years ago and as I was reading them I discovered the theraputic connection. I was really sad/angry about a man I dated for a short time and vented all of it on paper. I would have been offended if someone would have laughed at how I felt at that time. Having how I felt on paper gave me the opportunity to look back. I couldn't help but laugh at some of the things I said. Releasing my feelings on paper was just enough to keep me from dwelling on the situation, and eventually moving on.
The disadvantage of writing your thoughts is when it ends up in the wrong hands and then becomes a weapon of mass destruction! lol
